So we recently had to come up with solicitation copy for our DIAMOND PREVIEWS advert. By "WE" I mean "ME" because Kevin hates this kind of shit as much as I do and enjoys watching me squirm.
Seriously though, I HATE writing summaries. In school, I always lost points on essays and term papers because I flat refused to write conclusion paragraphs. If the reader couldn't get my point by reading THE ACTUAL PAPER, it wasn't my problem. Besides, said reader was clearly an idiot and not worth the effort.
I suck at one-sheet pitches too. If I weren't shamed into tears every time I think about it I would post the first draft of my GH pitch. Kevin stopped reading it 1/3 of the way through because he was "beginning to doubt my ability as a writer."
In my experience, it's not possible to describe a complex idea or story line in a single paragraph WITHOUT sounding like a Ron Popeil infomercial. Flip through an issue of PREVIEWS, you'll see what I'm talking about. I'd feel less dirty if they just printed "GEARHEAD: Buy the book and we'll suck you off!" Oh well, you can't win if you don't play...
GearHead #1
Shelby Cooper lives just outside a world of spandex politicians and
electric cars - but FUCK them and their world. She's a hot chick with
a hotrod. She drives fast, talks trash and hurts people with a big-ass
wrench. What does any of that have to do with super powers? Well...
On a mission to find her brother and in search of the destiny she
never knew she had, Shelby's life is about to get interesting. Join
her on a 4-issue road trip that leads from the drag strip all the
way to the White House. Like her father before her, she is GearHead.
-Hopeless
